Friday, September 01, 2006


The US basketball team lost again! What next? Yemen dominates apple pie baking competition.

I’m really at a loss here. I did everything in my ability to push the US back to the head of the basketball world. I wrote Coach K a letter begging him to take the job, which he did. I’ve been wearing my 1992 USA basketball Dream Team I, “The only Dream Team,” shorts each day. And what happens? We lose to Greece!

I’ve been to Greece. I didn’t see one darn basketball hoop the whole time. I guarantee that Indiana alone has 1,000 times more hoops and players than the entire country of Greece. How can they beat us!

We lost 101-95.

What am I going to do? Although my jumper is sweet, my feet are slow, I’m short, my left hand could use some work, and my vertical is in single digits. I guess I’ll have to write another letter…

Dear Coach K,

You failed me! Why did you cut Bruce Bowen? Why is Shane Battier on the team? Why…? How…? Etc.

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