Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Touron Tip -- Underwear and security

Some people may think that the most security that one can get from their clothing is a hidden pocket or two. They would be wrong.
Get rid of your hidden pockets, mace, munches, and stun guns, underwear is the new IT item in travel security. A wisely selected pair of undergarments just may be the difference between months of being held hostage or a day of hanging out with your new friends with guns.
Let me explain...
Let's say you are hiking in Colombia's Darien Province where people tend to get captured every mile or two. You are, in fact, captured, but you are prepared. As your captors tell you to strip off your clothing they marvel at how calm you are. They've never had a hostage act like this before. Your shirt and pants lie in a pile at your feet and you stand there in your wisely selected underwear - Scooby Doo underwear. Your captors grew up watching Scooby. They love Scooby Doo, their children love Scooby Doo. A bond is formed. You spend the rest of the day eating their rice, drinking their booze, playing cards, and recounting the adventures of Scooby. Crisis averted.
Be sure to check local listing to see what cartoons play in the region you will be visiting and shop accordingly. If you are going to a particularly dangerous area you may want to step up your level of undergarments security. Trust me, no one will hold you hostage if you are wearing adult underoos.


Tai said...

I'm hoping my "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" skivvies won't incite them.


Kelsey said...

Make sure you go with the Leonardo skvvies, everybody loves him, and not the Donatello ones.

Spider Girl said...

They watch Scooby-Doo in Zanzibar...I can attest to this first-hand. :)

Kelsey said...

Scooby is really the catch-all when it comes to underwear security. Every traveler should have a pair.