If you're stupid and you know it scratch your head

Aron Ralston cut his hand off with a pocket knife after a boulder fell on his arm while hiking solo in the slot canyons of Utah. He told no one where he was going or when he would be back, which was pretty stupid. He waited 3 days before hacking away at his arm. Of course, you likely know all of this already since he has published a book and been featured on Dateline.

Now he's making Man Laws in beer commercials with Burt Reynolds. In one commercial he even scratches his head with his stump. If you poll all of the one-handed people you know about what they use to scratch their head, trust me, they’ll say something like, “My hand. My one and only hand. The one with the fingers. Vibrating beds aren’t called ‘magic stumps’ are they? No. They’re called ‘magic fingers.’”

Aron Ralston is just another example of how being average stupid pays nothing, but being exceptionally stupid pays heaps.